What did we do today?

We went through a stretch in San Francisco where it rained and rained for days, which meant there was no way I was going to leave the house with the girls.  In the moment, I felt like it was sort of depressing that we were cooped up all day, day after day.  I felt like the girls were bored, I was bored… it was just sort of bleh.  Flash forward from then to last week, when we were playing inside one day and the girls were SO happy.  They were giggling and cooing and kicking like crazy.  All of a sudden it hit me that they're at an age where they're just happy to chill with each other and with me.  They're still a little young to really find any joy from going to the park, and although I do think they enjoy walks… I think I'm the one that really needs them.  In fact, sometimes I think they're happiest and most comfortable when they're in their own home.  

These last five months have really just flown by.  It's like I can almost literally feel these moments just floating away.  Ferris Bueller seriously speaks truth to my soul... "Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."  AMEN, Ferris.  A-freaking-men.  SO, I've been trying to just stop - stop rushing around the house, stop trying to make it to every play date, stop trying to check off my lists.  Instead, I've been trying to catch these moments that are so fleeting - their little voices singing and screeching, the look on their faces when they toot while they're eating, the way they pound their fists and legs on their beds in the morning in an attempt to show mom and dad just how serious they are about everyone waking up for the day… I know I need to just look around and take it in.  It's going too fast.  Much. Too. Fast.  

I just want to be a mom that can look back on each stage and feel like I embraced the heck out of it.  I really do love these two more than I can even express.  There have been a few times when I've just been looking at them and I've burst into tears.  WHAT?!  I thought the crazy hormones were supposed to be gone by now!  But really, you guys.  I just start crying and I can't help but think that being their mom is the wildest but most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.  It feels so overwhelming to think about the huge responsibility that I have to nurture, teach, and make sure these two feel and know that they are SO loved.  

How do you do that?  I don't know.  I just sort of guess at pretty much everything all day long.  All I know for certain is that I do love them, and the best way I know to show it is by stopping, watching, and embracing every kick, smile, cry, and coo.  We might not do much during our days, but we sure do love each other.  Of that, I'm certain.