Last weekend.

Last weekend we had an opportunity to go to California to be with J's family. It was my first time seeing my father-in-law since the stroke in August. I've put off talking about it because the predicted outcome was always changing, and I'm not very good with knowing how to deal with things of this nature. It's probably because I've been lucky enough to get to this point in my life without many situations like this.

When the stroke first happened, JD flew out immediately within hours to be with his family. Unfortunately, I couldn't go because it was the first day of new teacher orientation and my contracted days were starting that same week. Everyone talks about how your first year of teaching is the hardest and how it's so stressful, and yada yada. I can be a stress-case at times, so everytime I heard people talk about it, I knew that I would probably fit the "new teacher mold" perfectly. I didn't know how I was going to be the teacher, wife, and daughter-in-law that I wanted to be with all of these things I had never had to deal with, hitting me in the face all at once.

The day that JD left for California, there were so many emotions taking over. I kept wondering why and how all of this could happen to someone so young and healthy. I couldn't understand how we were supposed to be strong and deal with all of this. Luckily, at the same time, I felt an immense amount of love and support from our families. My side of the family has always loved JD. They have welcomed him in from the moment they met him 5 years ago and I have always been so grateful to them for that. They offered so many prayers in behalf of him and his family, and I will never be able to thank them enough for that. It's an overwhelming but amazing feeling to know that so many will offer so much love and support, whether they knew my father-in-law or not. Every time someone would tell me they were praying for him, I didn't even know what to say. I would just get this knot in my throat and my eyes would fill with tears. People are good. My family is amazing. The people I work with are amazing. My friends are amazing. They pulled together for us in a time where we really needed them.

Since JD needed to be with his family more than ever, and I was stuck in Utah, my family out here made sure that I wasn't alone. Every night my aunt and uncle asked me to come over to their house. I could start crying just typing this, because it meant so much to me that they were there to take me in. One night when I was there, my uncle Justen gave me a blessing. In that blessing he talked about how I would be able to have balance in my life... that I would be able to be the teacher that my students would need and the wife that JD would need. It was such a comfort to me at the time, and it still is. I have felt the Lord with us, buoying us up and keeping us going through this entire experience.

We planned our trip to California a few weeks ahead of time and during that time, I just kept think about how nervous I was to see him. I can't really explain why. I think mostly I was unsure of how hard reality would hit me. Since I've been in Utah, I created this ideal situation in my mind that things were going well and that life was still perfect. I was afraid of how I would react when the time came to actually see him for the first time. The older I've gotten, the more emotional I've become. However, my emotions are completely unpredictable. For example, things you'd think I would get emotional over, I don't (i.e. our wedding -- didn't shed a tear while my poor husband did --- I looked like a total heartless maniac). Of course, I had my share of teary moments during the weekend, but luckily, many of them were tears of gratitude. Yes, we have a long way to go and things are definitely not bright and shiny all of the time, but they are better than we had hoped for initially back when the stroke happened.

While we were at the rehab center with him, we had the chance to sit in on some of his physical therapy sessions. His drive and perseverance amazes me. I've always known he was an incredible man, especially since he raised such a wonderful son, but watching him this weekend almost brought me to tears each time. He pushes himself so hard and he doesn't give up. Like I said, it will be a long road but as long as there is a little bit of progress along the way, we are happy. I was equally impressed with the strength of my mother-in-law. Everyone who knows her, knows she is a fabulous woman. She amazed me even more last weekend. She is so strong in everything she does. I love both of them so much. It's been a heart-breaking experience, and I hope that we never have to go through anything like this again, but we are trying to learn and grow from all of it as best as we can.

Here are the only pictures I took during the trip:
While we were there, we went to the mall to pick up dinner since it is right across the street from the hospital. We saw one of the coolest things ever... a LIFE-SIZE FRUIT NINJA game! Awesome. Too bad this stinker isn't good at sharing and hogged it.


I can't wait for JD's dad to get home to the condo and get to sleep out under the stars. They put a bed on the balcony...and yes, we took full advantage of it. We fell asleep to the sound of waves crashing and woke up to it as well. Bliss.


And when we got back to Utah, I saw the first signs of fall!



To all of our friends and family, we love you. Thank you for being there for us and for your prayers. We've felt so blessed through all of this. From our relatives, to our friends, to the people I work with...we are so grateful for your love. Even my sweet students have been fantastic with the situation. They don't know much, but they do know some of the details. Since I had to leave right after school last Friday, I told them we had to clean up fast so that I could get out the door and make the flight. Every single one of them were doing something to help. I had kids washing my board, moving the caps, sharpening pencils, cleaning the floor, wiping up the sink... and saying, "Mrs. Rasmussen! Hurry! You have to get to California on time!" They are so sweet about this whole thing and I feel grateful for them as well.

And since I know Papa Raz is one of my best blog fans... we love you more than you know and can't wait to get back to California to hang out with you at the beach! :)